Intro: Entry #2 of Sanjana’s story.
She always found herself caught up in envy from the illusion of perfection everywhere around her. Everywhere she went, anything she would do. It would somehow always manage to find a way to creep up into and entangle her in it’s trap.
Self loathing, constant comparing, always wishing for more…
The worst part was that this was not a recent development in her mind, for as long as she could remember- she always found herself looking everywhere except within.
She yearned for a day she would be satisfied from just her own approval, regardless, whatsoever of anyone or anything else.
She consoled herself with promises of “one day you will get stronger”.
But as time ticked on, to her dismay, she learned she only got weaker- and her word to herself, held no grounds.
She yearned for the day of relief, for the day her mind would be finally free from this feeling of constant exasperation.
She forced herself to keep on moving forward everyday, by reminding herself that this day could very well come. However, buried under these hopes, she was petrified she would be stuck with this forever.
Playing in the background, pleasantly interrupting her somber thoughts, played Júníus Meyvant on the radio- and as though he was heaven sent, he sang:
“Don’t let the whole world drag you down, a new day will come around”.
Despite knowing that she would be reuniting with these thoughts of hers again very soon, she was glad for the temporary relief, and allowed herself to be distracted with it for the rest of the evening.
Maybe there was something better in store for her. And maybe the rejection in that email for her dream job, was a blessing in disguise? She could only wait to find out…